Apologies and Songs With Mixed Messages

First, let me start with an apology.
To our readers, supporters, and people who accidentally visited this page while trying to go to a different blog --- we are terribly sorry for the neglect the blog has received over the last four months. The one month hiatus that we planned to take in October turned into a four month hiatus. Many of the reasons for this include the word "homework".  This is my attempt to get the ball rolling again.  We are very sorry about this long and unintended hiatus! Here is a picture of a baby wombat curled up in a hat to make up for it. We will also discuss the possibility of running the blog a few months longer than we had originally planned.

Awwww...
 Don't you just love wombats?
(I do not own this, or any images in this post)

Now to my post:

While lamenting the many hours of homework that I am behind in, I often listen to music. And while listening to music, I've started to notice that a lot of popular songs that seem to have a nice message, often actually have a mixed message if you listen to the lyrics. What am I talking about? 

Well, take the song "All About that Bass" by Meghan Trainor. I quite like the message that people come in different sizes, and to not be ashamed if you're not a size two (though I always feel odd singing that line because I happen to be a size two). However her reasons for this are that "...don't worry about your size, because boys like a little more booty to hold at night". I don't quite like that message. The only reason to feel good about how you look is if boys like you? That doesn't seem quite right. I don't like her endorsement of placing your self-worth on what someone else thinks. The song has a mixed message. The positive message: bodies come in different sizes, don't hate yours. The negative message: Base how you feel about your body on what others say and think. So, don't hate your body if boys like it. What seemed a feminist song, now doesn't seem very feminist anymore. 

Some of Meghan Trainor's other songs have mixed messages too.
Take "Dear Future Husband", a song about what the singer's "future husband" has to do to be her future husband. A lyric with a positive message: "...so don't be thinking I'll be home and baking out the pies." She's saying don't expect me to stay at home while you go to work, which implies that both will be working to support each other.  But another lyric "After every fight, just apologize... Even if I was wrong, you know I'm never wrong. Why disagree?" implies that the singer is never in the wrong, and will never have to apologize. That goes against the lyric about an equal relationship. This new lyric implies that the man will do all the work in the relationship (apologizing, negotiating, etc.), and the woman won't do any and always get her way. This goes against the previous lyric of both people working for the relationship. Overall this song is a fun song, but I don't enjoy the lyrics, because in the relationship the singer is not taking an equal share of the work or responsibility, but leaving all the changes that need to be made for their relationship to work to her "future husband".

Another song with a mixed message is "Daughters" by John Mayer. I like the melody and sound of the song, but I have a problem with the lyrics. He starts out with a lovely message for fathers to treat their daughters well. He goes on to say that girls will eventually become mothers, so mothers should be good to their daughters too. I'm a little bothered by the first bit of that, because not every girl has to be a mother, but the overall message is still fine: parents should treat their daughters well. But what really bothers me is when he gets to this part: "Boys you can break. Find out how much they can take. Boys will be strong, boys soldier on, but would be gone without warmth from a woman's good good heart." Um, what? So be nice to your daughters because they are weak, but go ahead an mistreat your sons because they are tough and mistreating them will make them strong and manly? Huh?
First of all, be good to all of your children. Not just the girls. Second of all, girls are not inherently weaker than boys, and boys are not inherently stronger than girls. Third of all your decision about whether or not to be nice to your children should not take their gender into account, and fourth of all don't mistreat any of your children. Even if they're boys. Those lyrics almost ruin the song for me. The message in the song: Be nice to girls, but mistreat boys because they are stronger than girls.

It seems that in a lot of songs, just as they have a nice social message going, they insert a lyric with a negative social message and end up neutralizing the song. But yet we keep listening, because we like them, and if you ignore the one lyric or two, they're nice songs. Still, I wish there were more songs with lyrics you don't have to ignore to enjoy the song.

-- Captain Sarah Jane

Somebody's Got To Wear A Pretty Skirt

And Other Reasons Us Women Are Here

"God Made Girls." The title to a new popular country song by previous "The Voice" country pop star RaeLynn, suggests an old fashioned view on why us women have a place on this earth, and why these particular reasons make us women "important."

Having the name: "God Made Girls," you'd think that it would prove a more modern and strengthening take on female rolls, but unfortunately, that is not the case. We're not asking for a feminist anthem or anything, but why is it ever so demeaning and stereotypical, as if the viewer is that out of the 50s, telling a women her place in life. Being a 2014 based song, you'd think this would be a great chance to see a fresh, new, endearing perspective of what purpose we serve, if that's what you want to call it. 

Here are the opening lines:

-"Somebody's gotta wear a pretty skirt/Somebody's gotta be the one to flirt/Somebody's gotta wanna hold his hand/So God made girls"

These lyrics kind of summarize the whole song, but here are some different ones:

-"To hold his hand"

-"To wear a pretty skirt"

-"To be the one to cry"

-"To teach him how to dance"

-"To be something fragile to hold him while he hurts"

-"To give him a reason to wash that truck"

-"To be the one to flirt"

-"To make him get dressed up"

-"To let him drive"

-"To put up a fight, make him wait on a Saturday night, to walk downstairs and blow his mind, so God made girls"

Now don't get me wrong, this is a very catchy and cute song, but the whole thing just suggests the minor, stereotypical characteristics of a female, and only emphasizes the weak "feminine" parts of us. Almost as if it only brings attention to the things that make us useful and valuable to men, as if we're tools. As for the video, it features, things like ballet, white horses, sparkles, flowers, and lots and lots of pink. Supposedly, this is supposed to be a "girl empowerment" sort of song, but it kind of takes a somewhat new-fashioned take on old-fashioned. Just to be clear, I've heard many country songs, and this sort of seems to be the norm in some way. I wouldn't know this firsthand, but it appears that many country songs have a more traditional outlook on life, but I may be wrong. Not all of the lyrics prove to be understating. Like "For dancing to our own beat." The song kind of has a whole goal to kind of balance out male/female roles in way that sort of sets men doing the physical burden of life, while females are here to help men understand themselves and feel masculine. But if you disagree with me, there's always another way to look at it. From a different perspective, you could see it as us women are here to remind men they don't have to be big and tough all the time, and they should take time to look at life differently.

This set of lyrics I'm not sure how to describe:                                                                                                                                                     -"He needed something soft and loud, and sweet and proud, but tough enough to break a heart/Something beautiful, and breakable that lights up in the dark, so God made girls."

This is a nice part of it, but it also seems like it's stating that the only tough thing a girl can do is break a heart. I think overall, the song suggests women are an accessory to men, and the big, but also very small and delicate rolls we play in society. It's kind of sad to think that the only thing we can supposedly account for is being soft, fragile, and delicate, and not be notable for being equal to men. This is a nice song, and I can see why it's currently climbing the charts, right now, but for now maybe we can focus on the strong, powerful qualities a women has. Like being capable of being herself, and being just as strong as she says she is. :)

Note: Even though the name of the song suggests religious belief, it does not mean I am speaking against anybody's religious choices. This is simply my opinion on the lyrics and representation, and not the singers belief, and affiliation with the suggested religion. 

~ Governess Bob

Girl Gets Boy Gets Girl Gets Boy...and Vice Versa

No matter what time era it is, we're all still waiting for the typical high school girl to finally take action and ask her crush out. We're in the same time period for independent female movement, from famous female political figures, to women taking on male-dominated fields, yet we recoil in horror as your average teenage girl decides she's done waiting, and goes and asks him out instead. Why is that? And isn't speaking your mind all about what being a women is about?

It used to be that typically, men are supposed to make the first move when dating, yet over the years it has become acceptable for a woman to casually ask a guy out to a date, prom, etc, without being ridiculed. Even with a cheesy pick-up line, a male can still get a girl interested somewhat, yet us females are restricted to casual flirting and eye batting, in order to not scare the person away. It's nerve wrecking on either side to make the first move in dating, but somehow it's seems as though it's easier for a man to go up and ask a girl out, because that's the way we've been following for centuries. We've made so much progress over the years with female society evolution, that you would think we would be as aggressive in relationships as we are in our work environment. 

Women like to put men up to the challenge of how they will approach them, as if they have to face their fears, man up, and use a state of the art  pick-up line to get our attention. Sure, everyone can be a little insecure and hold back for a while, and we all have the fear of being rejected. But when it comes to women, one might say it comes off as desperate, or needy. Men may also be fine with being asked by the opposite gender, it makes them feel wanted, and probably takes the load of their shoulders too. Then again, it may not be insecurity at all, it's possible, like I said before, that it's just plain tradition. As a shy guy/girl, the other person asking first is probably an instant confidence boost.

 One of my favorite comic series are the Archie Comics. They are based off a teenage boy and his fun adventures and situations in his high school life. His two friends/girlfriends, Betty and Veronica are always competing for his attention and he can't seem to chose between them. Anyway, oddly enough, Betty and Veronica are also best friends, but are very different. Veronica is rich, seductive, and sometimes selfish, while Betty is sweet, smart, and athletic, but extremely fond of Archie. Both girls are constantly after him, but Betty would always try her hardest to get his attention without luring him away with material goods. No matter how hard they try to get his attention, they set an oddly both good and bad standard for girls. They are constantly in a love triangle and can't seem to move on or find a way out, and they are persistent, and that gets his attention. They are always looking for possibilities, both good and bad. Even when in love, they still act as strong independent women.

Despite being pushy, Betty chased what she wanted, and stands up for herself, and as you can probably tell, this post is chalk-full of maybe's and maybe nots, but that's what love is about isn't it? Sometimes it's really about the comfort zone that we're in, and that you have to make sure you show your real persona, and don't come off as cheesy. We are all plagued with the task of being ourselves, but not bordering on fake. From the Sadie Hawkins dance, to the (hopefully), soon to be female president, being straightforward is beautiful in it's own way, and there's nothing wrong with a girl who's a little bit confident. 

Thank you for reading this post, this is only my opinion and you are always entitled to your own. I'm not here to offend anyone, and these views are just my own. :)

~ Governess Bob